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None of us need be perfect
Cecilia Kingman assures us that “None of us need to be perfect in these days.”
We are all enduring a traumatic event. An extended disaster. The most important thing you can do right now is to care for yourself and your family and community.
It’s normal to have no energy or focus. Don’t push yourself. . . . Hydrate. Sleep. Go outside, or at least look outside. Eat regularly. Read or listen to uplifting music. Care for your body and your spirit. (Facebook, April 1)
Jordinn Nelson Long writes, “Just getting through this day with the grace you can manage is enough.”
I’m seeing a great reminder making the rounds on Twitter: . . . you didn’t transition to ‘working from home.’ You are AT home, in a crisis, and maybe also trying to work. . . .
Lower the bar. Lower it again. Lower it again. And then claim, audaciously and indulgently, all joy, all hope, all laughter, all connection, that finds its way to you. (Facebook, April 2)
Liz James mistakenly believed that she was going to do well at “pandemicking.”
I am discovering that “I am so great at keeping everyone happy even in a tough situation” is a TERRIBLE trait when what’s required is “being at peace with that there’s gonna be some unhappiness”.
. . . Please tell me how you are also failing, so I will feel like I’m not so alone in this?
And if you’re at home making sourdough bread and crocheting face masks out of artisanally dyed yarn scraps, please keep scrolling, buddy. This is not the thread for you. Go back to instagram where you belong. (Facebook, March 30)
Tell me about it
Joanna Fontaine Crawford suggests that we ask each other, “Tell me about the impact on your life.”
The impact is different on each of us. . . . Listen, and listen deeply. Resist the urge to problem-solve, to “provide perspective,” to cheer someone up. Listen. Honor the other person’s feelings.
And then when it’s your turn, share the impact this is having on you. Our honesty and vulnerability are gifts that we share with others, which gives them permission to do the same. (Boots and Blessings, April 2)
One of the particular ways in which Jude Geiger is affected by this pandemic is by the ban on blood donations by gay men.
Friends—In the gay/queer male community, many of us were gay-bashed more times than we could count. I was one of them. . . . This whole gay blood ban—that is medically pointless, and politically motivated—creates an especial pain for those of us who have been violently told it's ok to abuse our bodies for heteronormative assumptions. This ban doubles down the harm by telling us we're intrinsically wrong. (Facebook, April 2)
Waiting for what’s to come
Peggy Clark aptly describes “this eerie feeling that what used to be is over but what’s coming hasn’t started and we’re stuck in those moments before grief, waiting for what’s to come.” (Facebook, March 29)
Physician Janice Boughton reminds us that “This is a marathon not a sprint.”
Correction. This is a very long and challenging walk on the Appalachian trail, without all the company. It may seem hard but we’re going to get better at it and it will change. Oh the things we're going to know in a month that we don’t know now! That was always true but we were too busy to notice. Pay attention and remember. These will be good stories to tell eventually. (Why Is American Healthcare So Expensive, March 22)
Keith Kron asks us to think about the stories that will be told about us, long after this is over.
This is how you will remember this and be remembered. Not how you survived, but how you helped others survive and how you showed their lives mattered.
This month may feel longer. You may want to wish it away. But never forget this month, these moments, will define the life you live, and how others live, and how we as a country will be known and remembered. (Facebook, March 31)
Kat Liu writes about systemic, long-term changes that need to be made.
Every accommodation that has been made for people to work remotely, or access services remotely (including accessing health care remotely), all of that needs to be institutionalized and we can’t go back to the way things were before. (Facebook, April 2)
Writing about how the economy restarts, Doug Muder says that “there’s not going to be an everybody-come-out-now announcement.”
Re-opening will happen slowly, and probably in fits and starts. Some things will reopen too quickly, start a new outbreak, and have to close again. Some new habits will have to continue for a long time, and maybe we will never go back to washing (or not washing) our hands the way we used to. Cubicle-farm offices may never reopen with the same density. Business travel may never recover. Working from home may become permanent for many jobs, or working-from-home augmented by rare trips to the home office.
When will we be able to pack into stadiums again? Or elbow-fight for armrest-space in theaters? That will probably have to wait for a vaccine, which is at least a year away. (The Weekly Sift, March 30)